‘Apparently its natures way of training you to survive without sleep’ Fiona tells me. ‘But believe me when the baby arrives you will look back at this time wistfully’
‘I don’t think you realize how little sleep I’m getting. I have to pee every few hours. I have to pull myself out of bed in a complicated procedure, then do a waddle sprint to the loo, usually stubbing my toe on the door; go in to the toilet and then a tiny trickle of pee stutters out. Then I go back to bed. Within seconds, I swear I need to go again.’
‘Oh you should try the rock’n’roll method. You sit on the loo and kind of rotate your hips, taking the weight off one side of the bladder and then the other,’
Fiona demonstrates while I giggle.
‘I’ve heard it all. What kind of experimentation were you up to when you discovered that? Actually don’t tell me. Pee-ing aside, then there’s the kicking and jabbing. I reckon it’s going to be a prizefighter…. a nocturnal prizefighter!
Although I have discovered a great chat room for us preggie types. I am now an official birth club Mum-to-be member. At least we can bore the pants off each other at 4am in the morning, discussing piles, diabetes, husbands, lovers, dishing the dirt on the medics’ bedside manners and where to buy all the baby kit. You know stuff; no one else can put up listening to, ’I chuckle.
Fiona’s eyes have glazed over with boredom.
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