You are now a technical expert

Becoming a technical expert
OK, it’s getting weird now. A brown line has developed from my belly button down to my ahem, nether region. It looks like a tea-bag stain [Don’t get me started about special bloke being too lazy to put the damn tea-bag in the bin instead of leaving it on the sideboard awaiting the arrival of the tea-bag fairy].

My pregnancy library of books tells me it is called the ‘linea Nigra’ but they don’t explain why it has taken up residence on my tummy. Is it kind of like strip lighting in an airplane…to guide you to the exit doors in case of emergency? Pardon me, Mother Nature, but surely a Doctor/midwife who has studied their craft for oodles of years should be familiar with the location of bab’s expected exit door.
Even my two and a half year old niece very confidently {and very loudly on the bus journey home} advised me that the baby is going to ‘come out of there’ as she disappeared up my skirt and pinched me firmly between the legs. ‘Ouch, thank you, get out of there, Now! What are you all looking at? Shows over’.