Discussing labour with Dr.Stork
‘Everything is going very well Daisy, so I’ll see you again in a month’. Dr. Stork closes the file and starts to move towards the door.
‘Actually, I wanted to ask you something. Would you consider doing a c-section, as I’m getting really panicky about having a vaginal birth? I just don’t think I’m built for having children.’ I whine.
Dr. Stork studies my ever-widening girth and childbearing hips and muffles a smile. ‘What makes you think that Daisy?’ he asks kindly.
‘Well I was buying a chicken in Tescos the other day and I couldn’t help noticing that the weight was about 3lbs. It was HUGE. There is simply no way that chicken could have come out of me without tearing me to shreds. The average birth weight of babies is approx 7lbs 10 oz. I get very upset thinking about the whole thing.’
‘Well Daisy, I’m guessing you knew that you would have to give birth, when you decided to have this baby. Er Daisy, you did know… didn’t you?’ he asks uncertainly.
I concede this point but refuse to be beaten on logic. I try a different tack. ‘Its just that I don’t have a very large vagina’, I whisper conspiratorially. ‘In fact its quite small …bit of a nuisance really’. I try to win him over with a shy Princess Di look.
‘Daisy, you will be fine. Now I’ll see you next month ’ He retorts briskly.
‘I’d pay extra you know….’
‘No, Daisy’
‘Oh, perhaps you’re reluctant because you haven’t done many c-sections?’ I wonder aloud.
‘Daisy!’ gasps Special Bloke.
‘What? I was just being empathetic!’ I retort. ‘Look I don’t know what the fuss is about. ‘
‘Daisy, contrary to modern day beliefs, having an elective c-section is not a walk in the park. Its surgery. Recovery will be longer and you will be scarred’
‘Oh for goodness sake, my bikini wearing days are over. In any case the scars these days are tiny’ I explain dismissively.
‘I meant the internal scarring’ he snaps.
I sense defeat. My only hope is a very small baby. Hmm, maybe I’ll take up smoking.
‘Everything is going very well Daisy, so I’ll see you again in a month’. Dr. Stork closes the file and starts to move towards the door.
‘Actually, I wanted to ask you something. Would you consider doing a c-section, as I’m getting really panicky about having a vaginal birth? I just don’t think I’m built for having children.’ I whine.
Dr. Stork studies my ever-widening girth and childbearing hips and muffles a smile. ‘What makes you think that Daisy?’ he asks kindly.
‘Well I was buying a chicken in Tescos the other day and I couldn’t help noticing that the weight was about 3lbs. It was HUGE. There is simply no way that chicken could have come out of me without tearing me to shreds. The average birth weight of babies is approx 7lbs 10 oz. I get very upset thinking about the whole thing.’
‘Well Daisy, I’m guessing you knew that you would have to give birth, when you decided to have this baby. Er Daisy, you did know… didn’t you?’ he asks uncertainly.
I concede this point but refuse to be beaten on logic. I try a different tack. ‘Its just that I don’t have a very large vagina’, I whisper conspiratorially. ‘In fact its quite small …bit of a nuisance really’. I try to win him over with a shy Princess Di look.
‘Daisy, you will be fine. Now I’ll see you next month ’ He retorts briskly.
‘I’d pay extra you know….’
‘No, Daisy’
‘Oh, perhaps you’re reluctant because you haven’t done many c-sections?’ I wonder aloud.
‘Daisy!’ gasps Special Bloke.
‘What? I was just being empathetic!’ I retort. ‘Look I don’t know what the fuss is about. ‘
‘Daisy, contrary to modern day beliefs, having an elective c-section is not a walk in the park. Its surgery. Recovery will be longer and you will be scarred’
‘Oh for goodness sake, my bikini wearing days are over. In any case the scars these days are tiny’ I explain dismissively.
‘I meant the internal scarring’ he snaps.
I sense defeat. My only hope is a very small baby. Hmm, maybe I’ll take up smoking.
Funny, but I also had the same worry when my due date was fast approaching. But when I was on the table, the pain overtook me, I just felt a huge urge of giving it a push, minutes later, by OB is already repairing the cut he made. Morning sickness cure is still far more worst I guess.
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