Nesting

I seem to have inherited quite a bit of bulky baby kit from pals and extended family. There’s a really cute cot, which just needs a bit of a lick of paint.

Bugger, it’s just gone 6pm on a Sunday so all the DIY shops are closed. I really want to get this painted. Now! No, I don’t think you understand. I REALLY HAVE to do this now. Darn! I hate it when a plan shrivels before it’s even started.

Ho ho! I’ve just remembered there’s a tester pot of ‘cotton cream’ paint in the shed. I brave the elements and rummage around in the shed. Bingo, I find it under my old boogie board. I prise open the ancient caked paint pot. It is pretty tough with a very hard skin. Defeated I decide to take a rest and heat up some pot noodles in the microwave. As it beeps, I am inspired with an innovative solution. With glee I place the tester paint pot into the microwave and put it on ‘standard heat’ for 2 minutes. That should loosen it up nicely.

At this moment, Special Bloke arrives home from the pub with a couple of his mates. After the obligatory hugs, Special Bloke sniffs the air.’ What exactly are you cooking Daisy?’ he asks suspiciously. ‘Oh SWEET SUFFERIN…my tester pot!

Black smoke wafts out of the microwave and an industrial acidic smell fills the air as I open the door. ‘Stand back Daisy…think of the baby!’ yells Special Bloke playing to the stunned crowd. ‘Why the hell are you cooking a tub of paint in the microwave?’ he asks incredulously. I am so embarrassed at my actions and am dreading the inevitable ribbing I am in for, from the lads.

I brazenly eyeball him and coolly respond ‘I had a craving!’ The lads are so thrown by this bizarre but possibly plausible excuse that they let it drop. Whew!