Choose hospital / home birth

Mildred, my battle-axe boss has headed off on some high-powered jolly to New York for a whole week. Fantastic. MFDs [Mildred Free Days] put everyone in great mood. Its considered silly in the extreme to take holidays when battleaxe is away, cos work becomes a temporary haven of wit, fun and gossip. I was just sipping a smoothie with my feet on my desk…and well the position made me think about labour, somehow. Anyway, I had this great idea that I’d have babs at home, with candles, music and set up a snack trolley, loaded with high energy snacks like doughnuts, smoothies and curlywurlys.
Ooh wonder if theres any info on the net about it. Wow! Oh this is interesting. You can hire birthing pools and everything. Brilliant. Oh and you can buy heavy-duty plastic flooring so the blood doesn’t stain the floor. What???
Hold on…. Special Bloke and myself already have heated discussions about leaving dirty dishes on top of the worktop, instead of going the extra mile and actually putting them in the dishwasher. I can just imagine having the baby and asking Special Bloke to clean up. And he will say ‘I’ll do it later’ and I’ll get so wound up that I’ll grab the child’s umbilical chord and strangle him with it. And our poor child will witness the darker side of its parents and fear for its life. Well that’s one decision made anyhow – it will be a hospital birth.