‘Is this a planned pregnancy?’ enquires Dr. Boyd casually. Hmmm, I muse. ‘Well I’m not sure how to answer that.
Planning is all about foresight, research, logistics; thinking through all eventualities and developing concrete plans, isn’t it? But we didn’t do any of that stuff. We didn’t compare our astrology charts; consider our finances[our long term financial strategy is to win the lottery];we didn’t even buy an ovulation prediction kit. We just went to Louise’s most excellent cocktail party and I got a special prize for inventing the best tasting concoction. Anyway we met this couple that’ve been trying to have kids for 7 years and it got us thinking that maybe we should get on with it. So if you’re asking if we had unprotected sex on purpose, the answer is yes. But we didn’t think it would happen the second we thought about it.’
‘I’ll take that as a yes, then’ says a weary looking Dr. Boyd. Now are there any illnesses in either of your families, we should know about? ‘Like what I ask?’ ‘Well, is there a history of heart trouble, diabetes, anything that might affect the baby really?’ ‘I don’t know, I’ll have to get back to you’ I feel like I’ve forgotten to do my revision for an oral biology exam and am clearly disappointing my teacher. I realize I haven’t a clue what medical peculiarities run in Special Bloke’s family. Up to this point, it never occurred to me the baby might inherit features from his family. This opens up a whole other box of anxieties.
‘Right, now which medical insurance option do you have Daisy?’ ‘Um, not sure’ I reply hoping I did renew my annual subscription and didn’t just stuff the bill with the others on the overflowing mantelpiece. ‘Which hospital do you wish to attend? Which Doctor would you prefer?’ I’m at a loss. How am I meant to answer this stuff? You might as well ask me to discuss the finer points of nuclear physics. I have no idea how to even start collecting this data. Dr Boyd issues me with a booklet and some telephone numbers. She suggests I ask around about Obstetricians. ‘Who ever you decide to go with, phone and book them immediately’ she warns.
Having been such a dismal failure on all the quiz questions, I’m positively relieved when we move onto the practical tests. I produce the requisite amount of pee, despite the completely impractical shape of the collecting jar and I don’t even wince when she takes blood. [I don’t like needles but its a relief to get something right]. ‘Right, that’s it for now. And Daisy, I hardly need mention that cocktails are out’.
Planning is all about foresight, research, logistics; thinking through all eventualities and developing concrete plans, isn’t it? But we didn’t do any of that stuff. We didn’t compare our astrology charts; consider our finances[our long term financial strategy is to win the lottery];we didn’t even buy an ovulation prediction kit. We just went to Louise’s most excellent cocktail party and I got a special prize for inventing the best tasting concoction. Anyway we met this couple that’ve been trying to have kids for 7 years and it got us thinking that maybe we should get on with it. So if you’re asking if we had unprotected sex on purpose, the answer is yes. But we didn’t think it would happen the second we thought about it.’
‘I’ll take that as a yes, then’ says a weary looking Dr. Boyd. Now are there any illnesses in either of your families, we should know about? ‘Like what I ask?’ ‘Well, is there a history of heart trouble, diabetes, anything that might affect the baby really?’ ‘I don’t know, I’ll have to get back to you’ I feel like I’ve forgotten to do my revision for an oral biology exam and am clearly disappointing my teacher. I realize I haven’t a clue what medical peculiarities run in Special Bloke’s family. Up to this point, it never occurred to me the baby might inherit features from his family. This opens up a whole other box of anxieties.
‘Right, now which medical insurance option do you have Daisy?’ ‘Um, not sure’ I reply hoping I did renew my annual subscription and didn’t just stuff the bill with the others on the overflowing mantelpiece. ‘Which hospital do you wish to attend? Which Doctor would you prefer?’ I’m at a loss. How am I meant to answer this stuff? You might as well ask me to discuss the finer points of nuclear physics. I have no idea how to even start collecting this data. Dr Boyd issues me with a booklet and some telephone numbers. She suggests I ask around about Obstetricians. ‘Who ever you decide to go with, phone and book them immediately’ she warns.
Having been such a dismal failure on all the quiz questions, I’m positively relieved when we move onto the practical tests. I produce the requisite amount of pee, despite the completely impractical shape of the collecting jar and I don’t even wince when she takes blood. [I don’t like needles but its a relief to get something right]. ‘Right, that’s it for now. And Daisy, I hardly need mention that cocktails are out’.
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