‘Have you tried crackers first thing in the morning? Dry toast? Ice-lolls?Acu-pressure wrist pads? Meditating? Drinking 7up with salt? Smear yourself with camel dung and pull your nasal hairs out one by one?’
Yes, now feck off the lot of you and let me be sick and miserable in peace. And if one more person tells me to ‘take my mind off being sick’, I will personally wrap their tongue around their neck and spin them around on their behind.
Feck’n nausea. I want to get off this whole pregnancy carousel. Hormonal? Moi? And your point is?
Can’t believe I can’t take anything. Hitherto, if I’ve had a cramp I’ve taken a pill, headache? I have not taken a dry cracker or piece of toast. It seems a very inadequate prescription.
I must be the only woman to lose weight while pregnant. I never really got quadratic equations at school …but even I can see that there is something slightly askew with the equation below.
Normal body weight + bump should not be < normal body weight. The odd thing is that when I plea my case to the medical folk, they smile knowingly and say ‘And I’ll bet you have a funny metallic taste in your mouth too’. Yes you pack of know-alls I do, but funnily enough I already knew this. What I don’t know is how to survive the next couple of months. Apparently it’s a sign that all is well. Mmmmmm I’m beginning to think this pregnancy lark is one big design fault, that is in need of a radical overhaul. My proposal is that conception stays more or less the same [bar bloke farting immediately afterwards and rolling over for a snore fest] ; embryo develops for a few days. Mother-to be burps out the bundle of cells and deposits it in a microwave where it is nurtured and fed. After a couple of hours, out pops babs. No worries. No bloomn’ nausea.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Morning sickness is definitely the most hated thing about pregnancy. But it's not really that serious if you can find a cure for morning sickness that works. It's possible. You just have to find the right one since our body respond differently to each remedy. Be patient, a lot of women can attest that they made progress from morning sickness with nothing but home remedies.
ReplyDelete